Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
