Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
