Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
