sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
