"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
