READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
