He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My butt remains clenched, sir.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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