Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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