Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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