how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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