I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
