I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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