Buhtt sex?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He passed out mid-signature
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
