drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
