You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
