me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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