Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
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