we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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