Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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