I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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