Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
