the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
