i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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