who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
