butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
