i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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