I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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