I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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