i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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