My boss' voice literally gives me gas
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
