I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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