you turned your livingroom into a bong?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize