Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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