Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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