spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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