thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
