Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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