the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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