she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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