Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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