So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
