I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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