We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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