she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
