My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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