did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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