Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
