This is not my ceiling
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
