i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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