I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
