How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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