I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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