saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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