Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
