Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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