@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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