your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
