Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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