Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
