i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
