This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Green mimosas i think yes
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
