We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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